What Does ‘Neurodiversity-Affirming Therapy’ Actually Mean?

You’ve probably seen the phrase ‘neurodiversity-affirming therapy’ floating around lately. It sounds nice, right? But it can also feel a little…buzzword-y. Like - okay, affirming is good, but what exactly are we affirming here?

Or maybe you think it sounds very official, like it belongs on a conference PowerPoint slide with too many boring bullet points. So, what does it actually mean when you’re sitting with me in session?

Let’s break it down together.

First things first: It’s not about ‘fixing’ you.

Many of us who live with ADHD, autism, dyslexia, or otherwise wonderfully wired brains have been taught - sometimes loudly, sometimes subtly - that therapy is supposed to ‘fix’ us. That maybe it should make us less ‘distractible’, more ‘organised’, or (the big ouch) - just more…palatable.

Here’s the truth: your brain is not broken. Full stop.

My goal isn’t to turn you into a carbon copy of someone else - it’s to celebrate who you are, understand more of how your brain works, and help you live in alignment with that - rather than forcing yourself into a box that was never designed for you in the first place. I have zero interest in sanding down your edges. I want to help you see that those edges are part of your unique design.

Life is hard sometimes (and therapy can help).

Being neurodivergent isn’t the problem. Living in a society that often doesn’t get it? That’s the problem.

I often share with clients the metaphor of feeling like you’re trying to play a video game with a controller that has an entirely different set of buttons than everyone else’s. Together, we can figure out your controller.

Some common areas I explore with clients include:

• Masking: Performing ‘normal’ so you’ll fit in – at work, in relationships, even in therapy. (Exhausting, right?)

• Burnout: When you’ve been pushing, faking, and over-functioning so long that your brain and body finally tap out.

• Self-doubt & shame. After years of being told you’re ‘lazy’, ‘odd’, ‘too much’, or ‘not enough’, it makes sense that you’d start to believe it.

• Relationships & work struggles: From rigid deadlines to miscommunications, it can feel like you’re playing life on hard mode.

Therapy can’t make the world magically accessible (if only!), but it can give you a place to unmask, recharge, and learn ways to thrive without betraying who you are.

So, what makes my space affirming?

Being affirming is more than saying ‘you’re fine the way you are’ (though you’ll probably hear that too, because you are). It’s about creating a space where your nervous system can exhale.

That might look like:

• Prioritising sensory comfort: Rearrange the chairs, dim the ‘big’ lights, grab the blanket, or sit on the floor - whatever helps your body feel regulated is fair game. Therapy doesn’t work if you’re fighting fluorescent lights and scratchy cushions.
  
  A fidget bag that’s always stocked: If you want to stim, stim away.

• Flexible communication: Hate eye contact? Fine with me. Need me to shuffle further back to give you more space? You’ve got it. You don’t need to sit still or speak in tidy paragraphs. You can ramble, pause, jump around in your story, or just sit quietly for a bit. All of it is welcome here.

• Breaks are allowed: Need to get up mid-session? Stretch? Pace? Do your thing.

• Info-dumps welcome: Want to spend 10 minutes walking me through the different phases of a lunar eclipse before we dive into other stuff? Please do. I love learning through my clients’ passions.

• Humour encouraged: Therapy can be about sitting with the heavier things, and we can still laugh about the fact you lost your coffee cup…while it was in your hand. 

I’ve learned, over and over, that people make the most progress when they feel safe enough to be their real selves. And ‘real’ is rarely polished. Sometimes it’s messy, funny, tired, or all of the above. That’s not only okay - it’s welcome.  

Final thoughts

Neurodiversity-affirming therapy means you don’t have to spend precious energy pretending to be someone else in the therapy room. It means your differences aren’t ‘issues’ to be corrected - they’re part of what makes you, you.

And I’m genuinely excited to meet you.